


Soccer Mom Protocol

by Princessfbi



Series: You're Just Making Them Up Now [1]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, BAMF Happy Hogan, Happy is stressed, Humor, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Peter doesn't help, stranger danger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 22:46:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11746749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princessfbi/pseuds/Princessfbi
Summary: School had gone out and everyone was running through the courtyard like crazy, ready for a break from the week. Peter could see Happy from where he was standing against the black car trying hard to look cool while still talking to Mrs. Ramirez about a dumpling recipe he thought Peter didn't know about. If he had run to him they would've been one of the first ones out of the parking lot.But the gun pressed into his side kept him still.





	Soccer Mom Protocol

You know, Peter was having a really good day. No, like a really good day. A day not unlike the one he had before he walked into his apartment, used DVD player in hand, and was outed by Tony Stark.

No, really! It was a great day. A great week if he was being honest. He’d successfully stopped over two dozen crimes since Monday and still was able to make it home in time for curfew. He was actually so ahead on his homework that he didn’t need to worry about playing catch up for a while. He aced both his Spanish pop quiz and Chemistry exam. He had a new Lego set that he got for free because Aunt May had a colleague whose kid was too young for that many pieces.  

 _And_ he already had May’s birthday present picked up and haphazardly wrapped under his bed.

It was Friday which meant he got to go upstate for the night and do test runs on his suit and _train ---_ how awesome is that--- with Mr. Stark! Sure it came from Aunt May being totally embarrassing and chewing Mr. Stark’s ear off, but he knew it was because she loved him and he’d being lying if he wasn’t totally stoked to get to hang out at the Avengers’ Compound and fly around without worrying about someone seeing and he still had a room there even though he wasn't a part of the Avengers and he had his own space that he could use in Mr. Stark's workshop to build his web---

A hand slammed down on his collarbone so hard it rocked him on his feet.

Like he was saying, he was having a good day.

Now? Not so much.

School had gone out and everyone was running through the courtyard like crazy, ready for a break from the week. Peter could see Happy from where he was standing against the black car trying hard to look cool while still talking to Mrs. Ramirez about a dumpling recipe he thought Peter didn't know about. If he had run to him they would've been one of the first ones out of the parking lot.

But the gun pressed into his side kept him still.

“There you are, cuz,” a voice that was definitely not someone Peter was related to at all said loud enough for anyone listening to hear. The hand on his shoulder was tight and bruising, a thumb stroking the back of his neck in what he could only assume was meant to keep him from freaking out. The arm draped across his back was tense and strong, holding him close.

“Don’t say a word and no one will get hurt, kid.” The man’s smile never faltered and the upturn of his lips stretched the long scar along his face into something wicked. Peter glanced around, the blood rushing to his ears and thundering as he took in all his classmates racing everywhere. Two teachers were standing together and chattering while they called in each bus number with their walkie talkies. Parents with little siblings waited outside of their cars. So many people. Too many to account for if he decided to fight.

It could've been that he was there to get to Mr. Stark and didn’t connect Peter Parker with Spider-man. There had been a recent tabloid article with a mostly blurry picture of Mr. Stark with Peter but Mr. Stark had quickly silenced that (something about minors and lawsuits). His name hadn’t even made the article. The picture simply said Tony Stark and intern. So if he didn’t know, Peter could have the element of surprise.

But Peter couldn’t justify a possible bullet flying into the crowd either. Even if he had his webshooters, there was no guarantee someone wouldn’t get hurt.

He peeked over at Happy again. The thumb on his neck pressed deep into the skin in the back of his neck and he forced himself to look away. The man tilted his head, smile twitching under the strain.

“Wave bye to your little friends and come quietly with your cousin Ricky.”

Peter’s mouth became dry and he forced himself to swallow past the lump in his throat before he nodded.

Ricky--- even if that wasn’t his name it was easier than saying ‘that guy’--- winked at him and steered Peter away. When they cleared the crowd and turned into the loading dock behind the school, Ricky’s hand clamped on the back of his neck and forced his head down. He was marched forward before another set of hands grabbed onto his arms and dragged him towards the open back of a van.

C’mon! A van? Seriously?

Peter was freaked out--- seriously getting kidnapped would freak anyone out--- but he couldn’t help but be a little disappointed that all it took was a nondescript white van to steal a kid who was secretly Spider-man in the middle of daylight.

Someone grabbed him by his collar, throwing him into the back before slamming the door closed and speeding away.

Peter rolled as the van took off and stopped when he landed on his stomach or more to the point his stomach landed on a boot. He gasped as the toe of the boot kicked out all of the air that had been in his lungs. Ok, ow. 

The boot nudged him back and he winced over, winded, to see Ricky and two other guys staring down at him.

One bent down as he grabbed onto his shirt and dragged him into a sitting position.

“You sure this is the one?” The other guy asked, his voice sounding like gravel had lodged itself in his throat.

“Positive,” Ricky said, leering down at Peter like he was trying to decide which way to cut him… which given the situation was very possible. “Stark’s man was waiting for him.”

Happy.

“Did you take care of him?” Gravel Voice asked with a high arch of his eyebrow. But Ricky just leaned down and stared eye level with Peter.

“Nah,” Ricky said, slapping a hand back onto Peter’s shoulder. “The kid here was very well behaved.”

And for a moment Peter considered making a break for it. He could take these guys. But he still didn’t know if they wanted Peter or Spider-man and he hadn’t tracked how far away from school they’d gotten.

Then Ricky’s fist came slamming towards his face and Peter caught it. It all happened so fast. One minute Ricky was staring at Peter’s hand, surprised and a bit impressed, and no one said anything. And the next they met each other’s gaze and Peter took a calculated risk.

He let go of Ricky’s fist and didn’t stop the next hit from coming. Punch after punch landed on his face and sent pain skyrocketing across his skull. His skin heated up with angry red inflamed welts and coiled into bruises. Blood leaked down from his eyebrow and out of his nose.

He dropped into the corner and held up a weak hand to defend himself as Ricky’s attack rained down upon him. If he had been anyone else, he would’ve already been unconscious.

Another fist slammed into his eye and he let out a pitiful whimper which was all Ricky wanted to hear because he immediately stopped afterwards.

It was such a shift that Peter drifted in and out of focus for a minute. He had after all just let someone pound into his face and it _hurt._ God, it really _hurt!_ Combined with the movement of the van underneath him and the pulsing throb that was encircling his eye, Peter had trouble figuring out which way was which.

When he finally looked up, curled in on himself to keep as far away from the others as possible, he was met with the same scar ridden grin of Ricky and the beating suddenly made sense. It had been meant to scare him. Because, as Peter Parker with no enhanced abilities or any means of knowing how to fight back, a beating like that would’ve frightened him into compliance.

“It ain’t like the movies, kid,” the third guy, who up until that moment had been silent, said as if reading Peter’s thoughts.

“What do you want?” Peter asked in a small voice. His wrists were suddenly grabbed from against his chest and a roll of duck tape was tying them together in front of him.

“Rumor has it that you’ve met that Spider freak.” Ricky snapped on the word freak like he was a crocodile. “We want his name.”

Peter was going to kill Ned. He knew that something was going to come from when he spilled to the entire fifth period gym class that Peter knew Spider-man. Thank God and Ganesh that Mr. Stark had his suit for the day and it wasn’t sitting in his backpack like it normally was. Well, at least he made a good guess. It would've been worse if he'd let Ricky beat him up for nothing.

“I… I… I don’t… know his name.” But Peter was barely able to get out the stammer before Ricky’s fist landed across his jaw.

And holy shit… if they just wanted Peter Parker and weren’t wearing masks then… The situation suddenly became a little more traumatic. It might not be a movie but everyone knew what happened when the criminals let you see their faces. 

Ricky’s fist smashed into the other side of his jaw and he wasn’t braced for that one so his head snapped to the side.

“I don’t!” His voice pitched up an octave and thankfully his broken face hid his blush.

“This isn’t a good situation to be lying in, kid,” Gravel voice warned.

“I don---“

The rest of Peter’s denial was cut off as the van lurched forward. The men went flying into the sides of the van and Peter ducked before a foot could find his face.

Another loud crash dented the doors and lurched the van forward again.

“What the hell is going on?” Other Guy shouted up at the driver.

“It’s this asshole behind me! He’s ramming his car into the van!”

“Well, lose him!”

_Slam!_

Gravel Voice kicked open one of the doors only to fall back when the sleek black car slammed into the van’s bumper again.

The other door flew open and caught on the side of a building, breaking off into scraps and sending sparks flying.

“Initiating Soccer Mom Protocol.” And hey, Peter knew that voice! FRIDAY was recognizable even in the chaos of his kidnappers’ shouting. He peered into the sunlight leaking into the back and broke out into a grin.

“It’s Stark’s guy!”

Happy gritted his teeth and slammed his car into the van again.

“Give me back my kid!” Happy’s voice echoed from the comm system hooked up to the car.

“Happy!” Peter whooped because seriously Happy looked badass! A hand clamped under his chin, pressing into the bruises on his face and sending pain along his jaw. He gritted his teeth as he was forced to stand near the opening and Happy backed off a few meters. 

“You want him?” Ricky shouted, pressing a gun against Peter’s temple. “Take him!”

And then suddenly Peter was airborne. Happy slammed on the breaks as Peter flew into the space between the car and the van. Peter hit the window shield, twisting onto the top, and bounced off the back of the car. Peter landed on the ground and rolled, the wind sailing out of his lungs upon impact.

“Pete! P’tr!”

Oh God… Never do that again, Peter. Getting hit by a car sucks. It sucks on every level.

Rough hands flopped him onto his back.

“Peter!” His name being screamed into his face was enough to rock him back into reality. Peter squinted open his eyes and then promptly slammed them shut again when the sun nearly blinded him. He let out a groan which was pretty justifiable considering he just got hit by a car.

Seriously, what the fuck Universe? He was having a great day!

“What did Tony tell you about using that kind of language, kid?”

Had he said that out loud?

Peter groaned again and winced open an eye to see a very stressed out Happy leaning over him.

“Hey Happy,” he said, a little breathless. “That was awesome.”

“That was definitely not awesome! Are you ok?”

“Never better,” Peter said. Despite his body begging him just to stay down, Happy really did look worried and Peter would be fine in a few hours give or take. He sat up and easily pulled his wrists apart, the duck tape falling to his lap feebly. Happy stood up, not appearing to seem any less stressed out and tapped—slammed--- his fingers onto a Starkpad. That’s when Peter saw the very distinctly Peter shaped dent in the car.

“Sorry about the car.” He grimaced and tried to rub some blood off his ruined jeans. Happy stopped and looked between the car and Peter several times before he stopped and fixed Peter with an angry glare.

“The... The car?” Ok, he still sounded mad. “The car? Kid, what is wrong with you?”

Definitely mad. Peter would've gotten up and tried to see if there was anything he could do to fix it but his legs were still a little weak and didn’t really feel like they were going to be able to hold his weight and now that he noticed his whole body was sort of starting to shake which probably meant he was going into shock even though he hoped it was just an adrenaline crash but really—

Happy knelt down in front of him and grabbed onto his shoulders with a serious expression pulling his face tight.

“Kid, I don’t care about the car! Don’t _ever_ do that again. Do they not teach you kids to not go with strangers anymore? Seriously, stranger danger and all that.”

Peter shrugged, suddenly a little self conscious under Happy’s scrutinizing gaze.

“He had a gun,” he said weakly.

“And I’m the former head of security for Tony Stark with a car that has an arsenal to rival the US Navy.”

Oh, Peter thought.

“And if it does happen, which it never ever will,” Happy continued, pointing a finger at Peter. “You don’t get in the car with them.”

Peter nodded and then wished he hadn’t because the ground felt like it was spinning and he really didn’t think Happy would be ok with Peter throwing up on him.

“Ok,” he said instead. “I’m sorry.”

Happy seemed to relax just a little bit so victory for Peter. Yay...

“Good,” Happy said, catching Peter’s arm and helping him to stand. “Now come on. I’m not going to be the one to explain this to Tony.”

Oh no. Not yay. Definitely not yay. 

“We could… not tell him,” Peter tried but Happy shook his head.

“Too late, kid. I already initiated Soccer Mom Protocol.”

“What even is that?” Peter asked, leaning on Happy more as they tried to maneuver him into the backseat without bleeding all over the floor.

As if on cue a sharp whirl of a repulsor and tires spinning out of control in the distance ended with a loud crash.

“That’s Soccer Mom Protocol. Let’s get you to medical.”


End file.
